What is it?

It's not the eerie silence that fills the space around me,
It's not the stillness of the breeze I once used to float in,
It's not the departed felicity that ran along with my breaths,
It's not the steps retreating themselves to find joy instead,
It's not the lost gentle tease of sunlight brushing my skin,
It's not the dawn stealing away the moon I spend my pulses watching which,
It's not the absence of the letters joy used to write to me once,
It's not the palm of my hands losing hold of serenity,
It's not the colors and life running away from my scenery,
It's not the return of the nothing I have always had with me,
It's not the longing for life to stay with me,
It's not the notion of me being a whisper that never was,
It's not the heart bruised by unrequited sentiments,
It's not the fear of losing what I never had,
It's not the sojourn in this world so transient and short-lived,
It's not living in the fallacy that holds me in its wings,
It's not my words always mangling the peace of my heart,
It's not my voice not being heard or misheard all this time,
It's not the realization of "What is meant to be, will be",
It's not my ears not hearing any echo for so long,
It's not the bullets fired from guns piercing my disguised skin,
It's the fear of the demons deep inside me which dwell,
It's the fear of my demons tearing everything so dear I hold to myself.

Why Believe in God?

(Part 2)

Let's talk about the origin of life on Earth now. The earliest form of life being microscopic, a basic cell, the building block. This cell though the simplest and the most basic component is unbelievably complex, contains several other constituents in itself. The cell, as it is said and believed, was a product of continual evolutionary process under the effect of the atmospheric conditions billions of years ago. 

Among all other constituents of the cell, let's single out DNA. DNA that holds information about the organism, the traits, physical as well as behavioral characteristics, a very powerful thing. Science and research has found that : "The human genome, the genetic code in each human cell, contains 23 DNA molecules each containing from 500 thousand to 2.5 million nucleotide pairs." Also if you stretched the DNA in one cell all the way out, it would be about 2m long and all the DNA in all your cells put together would be about twice the diameter of the Solar System.

As a result of abundance of reasoning and knowledge, we are aware that for the 500 thousand nucleotide pairs, their combination and sequencing is a vital factor that governs the properties of the genes, DNA and consequently the whole human genome. Must have taken very many years to form an organism, a complex organism capable of thinking and forming ideas with proper functionality, physical symmetry and pleasant appearance. Let us calculate the probability of these 500 thousand nucleotide pairs being perfectly located to help DNA do that miracle, How many years do you get, knowing that evolution itself is a steady phenomenon and it would have taken considerable measure of time to carry that out also keeping in view the fact that it doesn't know what the perfect alignment would be? The permutation of 500 thousand! i.e 500000!, the answer of which is a figure that no calculator on earth can calculate which is far beyond the calculated age of the Earth!

It's just like providing the monkeys a type-writer and letting them bang their hands over it, they sure will type words and sentences and pages, say 500,000 letters, but will those words and sentences make any sense, all of them being right on point? No, absolutely not. And again for those letters to make perfect sense, all of them, simultaneously, the probability is what I have already explained.

You decide now, what does your intellect, wisdom and intuition say?

Why Believe in God?

(Part 1)

Science believes that every phenomenon that is taking place in this prodigious universe is governed by a certain set of laws, principles. But what about the Law-maker? Is anything capable of running on its own without the direction of the Law-maker and keep following it for billions of years, the non-living and astonishingly huge bodies? An educational institution is established and inaugurated, students are admitted, they come wearing uniforms, there is a fixed particular time span for which they are bound to not leave its premises etc, how do they know of the rules and regulations? Did the the rules and laws ever get formed on their own? Can they?
You just come into existence in this world and learn about the existence of these stars and planets. Big bang theory they introduce to you which claims a continually expanding universe, all on its own, randomly without causing any destruction or affecting its orderliness. Your brain accepts that. That unlike the watch made by the watch-maker which works correctly only because of being accurately and diligently set, this universe keeps working with such proficiency spontaneously, unguided.

Just for once, have you ever ventured leaving your armor, your ego, any sort of biasing, rising above everything else, using not only rationality of your mind but the intuition of your heart, guidance of your conscience, to seek the greatest truth with true enthusiasm and devotion, have you? Search for it with true vigor and deep contemplation and not just for the sake of knowledge?

At times the yearning for uninterrupted seclusion steers one’s spirits to take them to the most desolated place that could ever be found, for one to let the lonesome air seep through one’s thick disguised skin and appease one mystically.
Sometimes there’s nothing that soothes one better than being embraced by the still air, the thought of being eyed by none but Him, free of care and obligations, knowing none would be able to track him, driving on the track that seems to have no end, through the solitariness of the atmosphere inhabiting one, the illusionary thought of being the master of one’s own senses and self for those moments. Talking to oneself, Him, aloud about everything, fanatically so that there lies no chance of being not heard or misheard, letting one's jar of joy and sorrow spill and feeling lighter than a feather afterwards. How could one not long for that once in a while?

You have innumerable different faces, I say. Each of them designed to serve every single person you know in our life exclusively. You don't feel the same towards any two people even, do you? Your parents, you might say you love them equally ardently but do you feel the same for each of them when their thoughts intercept the horizon of the endless territory of your farfetched perceptions? So let alone the whole group of them, your friends, family, colleagues, sharing equal intensity of your you-ness. You don't even talk to everyone in the same way when alone with them and if you do, you can't deny the difference in the energy you experience inside.
That and among many other faces of yours there is yet another face that only you meet in hours of complete isolation. The one wearing which renders you absolutely unrecognizable in the eyes of most recognizable of your acquaintances, the more vulnerable but farsighted one, the one with seemingly wiser and tamed reflection with hints of bruises over it, presenting the glaring agony boiling inside your soul. Yet you yearn, long for that face of yours inside layers of eluding veils to seek recognition, seek it but secretly, discovered but kept undiscovered because that face is not for everyone to see, is it? 

There were chunks of expressions lingering all over the walls. Hovered over them the belligerently disquieting shadow of the blackened ticker, my heart. Dead, aloof, just not dead enough, for worse only. The tips of the numb hands stumbled over impressions the expressions had engraved; only to fail in conceiving what they had to tell. There was no resentment because they had never learned to. But there were my feet then, which had only known to escalade and never back down, carrying me to the universe parallel to my world in the cellar, equally, resolutely mine, or perhaps just me, stepping into which or being that myself, brought my senses to a halt and exalted my self above it all like it could make me defeat any adversary effortlessly, it did, it will, it belongs to Him, so do I. I'm a part of Him, too endearing for Him to let down even if I were a terrifically midget and almost an insignificant speck among those exhibiting tremendous grandeur and glare too glary for my eyes to even have a glimpse of.

Why do I believe in God?

Primarily because I was born a theist, a Muslim, for which no matter how much I feel grateful, it would never be enough. I used to make puerile wishes, as a child and saw them being transformed to reality, the ones I used to share with my only, the most trust-worthy and a secret friend whom I could not see or hear but used to talk to every night and who felt to me closer than my very own heart. Who used to daze me not by words but the things He did, the way He did and the frequency with which He did. It couldn't be anything/anyone else other than Him, it has not been, it can not be. Because every time I call His name, I remember Him, a mysterious solace, tranquility takes me in its embrace. Because He always shows me a way, answers most of my questions, calms me down through the guide He has provided. Because I can’t, for even a femto second, assume a world without Him being omniscient, the Ruler, the flawless deity. Because surrendering to Him, getting closer to Him is the most relieving feeling I have ever known. Because every time He shows me He is listening, processing and is there.

Because everything can not come from nothing, spontaneously. Because even a clock, a garden, a human body, a gadget requires maintenance and programming in order to work efficiently. This prodigious world, galaxy, universe can not be a product that came into being on its own, working without any preternatural deity taking care of it. Because none could know the facts science is proving in the contemporary age, 1400 years ago, except the One who is the Master of everything and is All-Knowing and who mentioned them in His holy book. Because all those miracles would not have happened which have been happening and happen even today, the power of His mighty words would not have been validated so many times.

Because my inner voice says that some things are not to be made sense of, they need only to be felt and it is Him. Even a human mind can be too complicated to understand even after gathering the knowledge of the whole world, then who am I to expect myself to resolve His mystery? And no matter how much scientific reasoning you bring, I might give it a thought or a question may pop in my mind but never for a moment I’d doubt His existence.

A piece of paper was found by a pen to write on, 

With the ink of color of invisibility. 

The paper with every color except, 

The colors the pen was painted with. 

The ink, invisible, imprinted on the paper, 

Served nothing but vanity.

To the pen it was a whole new world, 

Which only it could dwell in.

The paper got painted by the world, 

With paints that didn't remotely symbolize it,

The pen still kept on writing on it, 

With the ink invisible it was filled with.

Inside every layer of the foreign colors, 

The paper got painted with,

The pen never let the truth, 

Of the paper slip away from its memory.

A slight wrinkle on the paper fills the pen, 

With an invisible ink of agonizing misery.

The pen would never know what the right ink is, 

To write on the paper with delicacy.

Yet it keeps moving in ways unknown, 

Making symbols cunningly.

No matter how many layers,

The paper gets subtly enclosed in.

The pen would never disremember, 

The colors it found the paper in.

No matter how many creases engulf, 

The paper's glamorous shapeliness,

As an eternal companion, 

A fellow unknowingly forbidden,

The pen would never give up the job, 

Of writing with the ink of color of invisibility.

I envisaged myself drowning, with my fists enclosing the dirt of recollection of me of yesterday in fragments. My mind convulsed while my heart slowly shrank, untangled itself to lose the synchronicity, to liberate itself from the constricting confinements of what is called reality, to float above every disquieting anguish and that was when my hands laid over something I had never felt the touch of before, with the air of connoisseur commenced the ritual of stealing away the quietness of the instrument, like they had always known how to improvise it and let it cry. Cry, cry its soul out aloud till the heavens could effortlessly hear it and bless it with their approval and applause, acceptance and absolution for which my fists had been awaiting as a signal so that they could lose the hold of the dirt and elutriate themselves. I erased and erased and erased myself till myself was vanished, perished and my own self was found.

We were not two for those riveting moments in our lives, sitting across the sea, along the shore. With my head resting on his tender shoulder and his warmth seeping through his skin into the air I inhaled, I felt like a child would feel in its mother's gentle embrace. His cologne, reeking of some divine familiarity and serenity, felt so mesmerizing in that magisterial tranquility. For those moments, I was complete, he was me, I was him but there was no self, only us being one. I reached for his hand, brushed mine against it and started feeling his fingers, holding them with delicacy, I flipped his hand inside out to try to read what the lines were trying to say. That's what I do with people I love the most, I love playing with their hands, pressing them against my cheeks and feeling their presence. He sat there quietly, bracing me, my insanity and the smile I would never stop falling for. He, my sun, star and moon and I were tied together with an everlasting piece of cord we wholeheartedly accepted to hold for the rest of our lives and promised each other to never let it go, a week ago. Ever since I had seen those eyes, I had known that they were the only ones I would ever want to be seen by, to look at and to know the soul they conceal inside. Today, they're mine, telling me that I won without having to fight. The gaze reaching for my soul takes my breath away and he loves doing that, seeing me blush and being nervous. In these eyes and heart dwells huge respect and infinite love I had always kept safe for him only. What are you going to do now? Where are you going to run, you're trapped? Asked my eyes wickedly. Even if you try your best to keep me away, I will keep clinging to you. Even in our wildest nightmare I would not let us grow apart, said the other ones.